J.J.’s 44 Laws of Marriage

"The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It's a choice you make - not just on your wedding day, but over and over again - and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife." - Barbara De Angelis

With over 20 years of marriage experience, people often ask us, "What's your secret?" The truth is, there isn't just one big secret, but rather a collection of small practices and habits that have helped us along the way. Marriage can be a beautiful thing, but let's face it, it takes effort and commitment to make it work. If all parties are not mindful, it can quickly become a rocky road. As a fun exercise, we thought it might be fun to compile a list of 44 laws that have helped us navigate the ups and downs of married life and avoid potential chaos. We want to make it clear that we are not experts on the topic, but rather just a couple who have found some strategies that have worked for us. Hopefully, you’ll find these entertaining, if not useful.

So, without further ado, here goes...

J.J.’s 44 Laws of Marriage:

1. Always remember to say "I love you" (even when you don't feel like it).
2. Don't go to bed angry (unless you're really, really tired).
3. Always split the last slice of pizza (or risk starting World War III).
4. Don't keep score (unless you're winning).
5. Respect "me time" (which includes bathroom time).
6. Be honest (just say what you mean).
7. Don't leave the toilet seat up (or risk getting yelled at).
8. Share the popcorn at the movies (even if you secretly want it all).
9. Embrace the power of a good hug.
10. Don't try to change your partner (because it won't work).
11. Hold hands in public (unless it's really hot outside).
12. Remember important dates, like your anniversary (or risk sleeping on the couch).
13. Take turns doing the dishes (unless you're feeling generous).
14. Don't criticize your partner's cooking (unless you're a better cook).
15. Listen actively (even if you're not interested).
16. Don't be passive-aggressive (just say what's on your mind).
17. Never use the silent treatment (it's just mean).
18. Be supportive (even if you're secretly rolling your eyes).
19. Resolve arguments before going to bed (unless you're really tired).
20. Remember to say "please" and "thank you" (it's just good manners).
21. Don't compare your partner to an ex (seriously, just don't).
22. Be faithful (or risk getting slapped).
23. Remember your partner's birthday (or risk getting slapped).
24. Give compliments (even if you're feeling grumpy).
25. Don't make your partner choose between you and their family/friends (it's not fair).
26. Make time for date night (even if you're busy).
27. Remember to put the toilet paper on the roll (or risk getting yelled at).
28. Apologize when necessary (even if you're not at fault).
29. Don't leave your socks on the floor (or risk getting yelled at).
30. Be kind (even if you're having a bad day).
31. Remember to say "good morning" and "goodnight" (it's just polite).
32. Be patient (even if you're impatient).
33. Show appreciation (because everyone needs to feel appreciated).
34. Express pride in your partner (because everyone needs to feel proud).
35. Don't make big decisions without consulting your partner (it's just respectful).
36. Make time for intimacy (even if you're tired).
37. Apologize for your part in an argument (because it takes two to tango).
38. Be willing to compromise (even if it's not your first choice).
39. Celebrate milestones (big or small).
40. Laugh together (because laughter is the best medicine).
41. Forgive each other (because forgiveness is key).
42. Respect personal space (even if you're a clingy spouse).
43. Don't take your partner for granted (because they are a gift).
44. Remember why you married your partner in the first place (because love is the foundation).

While marriage can be a beautiful and rewarding experience, it can also be a rollercoaster ride. Keep these "laws" in mind and work together to create a marriage that is filled with joy, happiness, and a lot less tumult!

What are some of your favorite "laws" for a successful marriage? Share them in the comments below!

References:

Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2015). The seven principles for making marriage work. Harmony.

Chapman, G. D. (2015). The 5 love languages: The secret to love that lasts. Moody Publishers.

Edited with the help of ChatGPT